Monday, November 29, 2004
yes it's me again. i'm still stuck at home but i'm going out later for my scholarship interview. pls dun let me screw it up!! let this be the start to my new life..
a friend once commented tt i need to build a closer relationship with my girl friends. or more like.. 'cheryl, u dun have any close friend tt u can call anytime to talk about anything, someone who's close to u..' (mind u this is the toned down version of what he said) it really bothered me alot.. and i think about tt comment all the time.. i guess to some extent he's right. i dun really have any who is really close to me.. olivia is the only one and she's in hongkong now.. it's like even though we dun talk much, there's this mutual understanding btn us. i guess tt is the most valuable thing u can get. the silent understanding. and yse.. i'm working on it..
i do have close friends. pple like mab whom i can talk to about anything.. and there are many more. but just not tt close to know everything about me. what i seek for is tt kinda understanding, but it's hard to find.. so i rather not look for it.. i'm still tt cheryl who keeps to herself. and tt doesn't change. it seems to get worse as time goes by. y burden others w what i'm facing now? it's not like they can understand whats going on. i guess ber is the one who came the closest to knowing everything abt me.. sometimes i'm really sick of being the girl i am now. y am i trying so hard to be so strong. another friend said tt the tougher one appears to be, the easier they are hurt. basically it's a facade. to hide the fact tt they are actually very vulnerable inside.. i guess it's true..
wonder y i suddenly thought of tt again.. somethings just happen to affect me alot..
if i die the next moment, how many will weep for me?
Posted by sil3ntrain at 1:23:00 PM
Friday, November 26, 2004
bad start to a bad hols.. i think i'm plagued with bad holiday luck.. destined to be stuck at home.. this is so not my idea of solitude damn it..
supposed to go tanning with jazzie dear, but the skies were dark. freaking.. so i decided to go run at the park. think about this.. fresh air, peace and serenity, nice scenery(if u consider the canal to be interesting tt is), u're running by yourself, enjoying the breeze on ur face.. then.. PLOP! u fell..
tts exactly what happened to me this morning.. and i haven't even finished running half my freaking route.. scraped my knees and cut my palms.. it's still bleeding now..
i wanna go shopping.. i can't possibly try on clothes like tt.. sniff* it sucks totally.. sigh..
Posted by sil3ntrain at 11:01:00 AM
Thursday, November 25, 2004
thousand thoughts running thru my head.. i love to think nowadays.. always drifting in and out of my own world.. A's ending today.. in another 3 hours or so.. been looking forward to this day, but now tt it's here.. i'm feeling aimless and lost..
guess pple change all the time.. i'm starting to prefer solitude and loneliness.. getting used to all these.. shall take some time alone to find out what's my goal in life, what do i really wanna achieve bascially getting in touch with my inner soul..
it's a phase of growing up i think.. sitting at coffeclubs, drinking my latte, reading my book n listening to the music.. taking a stroll alone, looking at those old uncles and aunties walking hand in hand at the park.. looking forward to all tt.. i'm not mad.. really..
and yes.. i'm serious abt volunteering my services at salvation army..
i've changed.. gonna shed this image now.. u'll now see a different me..
Posted by sil3ntrain at 10:45:00 AM
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Gravity- Embrace
Honey
It's been a long time coming
And I can't stop now
Such a long time running
And I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
Can you hear the sound?
Cos I can't help thinking
And I don't look down...
And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone
On everyone...
Baby its been a long time waiting
Such a long long time
And I can't stop smiling
No I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
Oh can you hear that sound?
Cos I can't help crying
And I won't look down...
And then I looked up at the sun and I could see
Oh the way that gravity turns on you and me
And then I looked up at the sun and saw the sky
And the way that gravity pulls on you and I
On you and I
Posted by sil3ntrain at 1:00:00 AM
Monday, November 01, 2004
ok.. i din study much tt morning.. in fact me and wen both fell asleep in front of the tv. n she thought i studied thruout the whole nite. why? cuz when she woke, she saw me reading, then she went back to sleep. actually i just happened to be trying to keep awake. n we fell asleep at the same time.. n jing.. haha.. she went rt to bed after READING 2 extra chem qn. how successful.. ahaha!
and guess what.. i'm SICK NOW!! yes chunzhen.. i'm finally sick.. and i was just like boasting about how strong i am.. i'm FINALLY SICK!! and what?!?! gp is like a few days away!! damn it.. ok.. i shld be sleeping now.. gotta recover by then.. sigh.. nitez..
pray for me...
Posted by sil3ntrain at 11:09:00 PM